Episode 70: My Own Way

own / by myself — Henry David Thoreau, 1845 (B1-B2)

Grammar Box

Meaning: “Own” emphasizes personal possession or individuality (“my own ideas”), while “by myself/yourself/himself” etc. emphasizes doing something alone without help or company.

Form: Own always follows possessives (my/your/his/her/our/their + own). By + reflexive pronouns (myself, yourself, himself, herself, ourselves, themselves) means alone.

Example 1: “I built my own house by myself without any professional help.” (Own = belonging to me; by myself = without help.)

Example 2: “She made her own decision and traveled by herself across the country.” (Own = her personal; by herself = alone.)

Common mistake: Wrong: “I did it by my own.” Better: “I did it on my own” or “I did it by myself.” (Use “on my own” or “by myself,” not “by my own.”)

The Challenge

Luna compared sentences. “Professor, ‘I made my own choice’ and ‘I decided by myself’ — they both sound like independence, but they feel different. When should I use ‘own’ versus ‘by myself’?”

The watch glowed with quiet determination. Professor Wisdom appeared with a peaceful expression. “Ah, the grammar of self-reliance. Sometimes ‘own’ emphasizes what belongs uniquely to you, while ‘by myself’ emphasizes doing something alone. Let me show you a man who lived both concepts completely.”

The Journey

Concord, Massachusetts, July 4, 1845. Henry David Thoreau, a 27-year-old Harvard graduate who had disappointed his family by rejecting conventional careers, carried his few possessions to the shore of Walden Pond. He had built his own cabin there over the previous months, working mostly by himself with occasional help from friends. Today he would begin an experiment: living by himself in the woods to discover his own truth about what life required.

This was a man whose entire philosophy centered on individual conscience and self-reliance. While his neighbors pursued their own versions of success through business and social standing, Thoreau questioned whether owning your own house meant anything if you had to sell your own freedom to afford it. He chose Independence Day deliberately for this move to his own woods, his own shelter, his own life.

He faced criticism that stung despite his philosophical defenses. His mother worried he would starve living by himself. His former Harvard classmates, who had their own careers and families, considered him a failure who couldn’t survive on his own in the real world. Even his friend Ralph Waldo Emerson, who owned the land where Thoreau built his cabin, wondered whether this experiment was wise. Society demanded you find your own place within its structure, not create your own structure entirely.

Yet Thoreau had his own vision. “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,” he would write. He wanted to face life on his own terms, not on society’s. He would plant his own beans, catch his own fish, think his own thoughts. Each person, he believed, should find their own path rather than follow someone else’s road just because everyone else traveled it.

The cabin stood simple and honest, built with his own hands from boards he had purchased with money he earned by himself through surveying and writing. He had plastered his own walls, installed his own chimney, created his own furniture. Everything in this space reflected his own choices, his own work, his own philosophy. By himself in this cabin, he would write his own observations about nature, society, and the self.

The summer air smelled of pine needles and fresh earth, that clean scent which forests undisturbed by crowds develop. You could hear the loons calling across the pond, the rustle of Thoreau’s own pen on paper as he wrote by himself in the evenings, the silence that modern people rarely experience when they’re by themselves. This was his own experiment, conducted in his own way, by himself but not lonely.

The Deep Dive

Own emphasizes that something belongs uniquely to you or that you did something personally. It always follows a possessive: “my own house” (the house that is mine, not rented), “her own opinion” (the opinion she formed herself), “their own mistakes” (mistakes they made, not someone else’s). You can say “on my own” meaning independently: “I solved it on my own” equals “I solved it by myself.”

By myself/yourself/himself etc. means alone, without help or company. “I traveled by myself” means I traveled alone. “She built it by herself” means without help. You can also use these reflexively with “do”: “I did it myself” emphasizes you personally performed the action, possibly to distinguish from someone else doing it.

Common confusion: “by my own” is wrong in standard English. Say either “on my own” (independently) or “by myself” (alone). “I live on my own” or “I live by myself” both work, but “I live by my own” doesn’t. However, you can say “of my own” in phrases like “a room of my own” (Virginia Woolf’s famous title) meaning a room that belongs to me.

More Examples

History: “Gandhi developed his own philosophy of nonviolence by himself during years of solitary thought and experimentation.”

Science: “Marie Curie conducted her own research in a laboratory she set up by herself with minimal funding and resources.”

Everyday: “I prefer cooking my own meals rather than eating out, and I usually dine by myself while reading.”

Formal: “Each researcher must develop their own methodology and analyze their data independently, often working by themselves for extended periods.”

Informal: “I’m going to the concert by myself — I have my own ticket, and honestly, I want my own space to enjoy the music.”

Contrast: “I made my own decision” (emphasizes personal choice) vs. “I decided by myself” (emphasizes deciding alone, without consultation).

Practice & Reflection

Exercises:

1. Fill in the blank: “Thoreau believed everyone should find _ path in life rather than following ___ others had walked.”

2. Correct the mistake: “She completed the entire project by her own without asking for help from anyone.”

3. Choose and explain: Which emphasizes independence of thought?
   a) “I formed my own opinion about the issue.”
   b) “I thought about the issue by myself.”

4. Rewrite: Express this using “own”: “This is the house that belongs to me, and I live here alone.”

5. Compare: What’s the difference? “I did it myself” vs. “I did it by myself.”

6. Your reflection: Describe something you accomplished using both “own” (to show it was yours) and “by myself” (to show you did it alone).

Answer Key:
1. their own… the path (or “the paths”) — own needs possessive; specific path needs article
2. Change “by her own” to “on her own” or “by herself” (by her own is incorrect)
3. (a) emphasizes independence of thought more — “own” stresses personal formation; (b) emphasizes physical solitude
4. “This is my own house, and I live here by myself” (own = personal possession; by myself = alone)
5. First emphasizes personal action; second emphasizes doing it alone without help (subtle difference)
6. Check: Did you use possessive + own? Did you use by + reflexive pronoun? Do they convey different types of independence?

The Lesson

Luna wrote carefully. “Thoreau built his own cabin by himself. He lived his own life on his own terms, often by himself but never lonely because he was doing what he chose.”

“Perfect,” Professor Wisdom said with warmth. “You see how both concepts work together but mean different things. ‘Own’ emphasizes that something is personally yours — your choices, your thoughts, your path. ‘By myself’ emphasizes the solitude, the lack of external help or company.”

“So you can do something by yourself that isn’t really your own?” Luna asked.

“Exactly. You might complete someone else’s project by yourself — alone, but following their vision. Or you might develop your own project with a team — uniquely yours, but not done alone. Thoreau did both: his own philosophy, discovered by himself. That combination of personal authenticity and self-reliance became his greatest gift to the world.”

Luna smiled. “I think I need to find my own way of learning grammar — which I’m doing by myself right now with your guidance.”

“Now you understand Thoreau perfectly,” the Professor replied.