The Little Voice That Says “You Will Regret This”

How fear of regret talks to us before we choose.

Lila stares at her phone.
Two emails are open.
One is a job offer in her home city.
The other is a job in a new country.

Her heart beats fast.
She hears a small voice in her mind:
“If you say no, you will regret it.
If you say yes, you will also regret it.”
Her fingers stay still above the screen.

The Movie in Your Mind

Before many choices, we play a movie in our head.
We imagine our future life after each choice.
We see a happy face or a sad face.

Psychologists say this is “anticipated regret”.
We feel afraid now because we imagine feeling bad later.
This fear can sometimes help us.
It can stop us from doing something dangerous, like driving too fast.

But sometimes it does not help.
It makes us freeze.
We stay on the sofa, on the website, or in front of the email, waiting and waiting.

Open Doors, Closed Doors

Some choices are reversible.
If you buy shoes online and you can return them, the door is still open.
If you can change your phone plan or cancel a class, you can step back.

Other choices close a door.
Having a child, signing a long contract, or moving far away feel bigger.
We expect more regret, so the fear grows.

There is also another pattern.
Some people want the “best” option.
They read every review and compare every small detail.
They often feel more regret, because they see all the things they did not get.

Other people say, “This is good enough.”
They choose faster and then stop looking back.
They often feel calmer.

You can notice your own little voice.
Next time it says, “You will regret this,” pause.
Ask, “Is this fear helping me stay safe, or just making me stuck?”
Then make a gentle choice for your future self.

Key Points

• We imagine future regret before many choices, and that fear can freeze us.
• Reversible choices and “good enough” thinking can make decisions feel lighter.

Words to Know

regret /rɪˈɡret/ (n, v)

feeling sad about a past choice

offer /ˈɒfə/ (n)

a chance someone gives you, like a job

risk /rɪsk/ (n)

the chance something bad may happen

safe /seɪf/ (adj)

not in danger

imagine /ɪˈmædʒɪn/ (v)

to see something in your mind

advice /ədˈvaɪs/ (n)

words that help someone decide

return /rɪˈtɜːn/ (v)

to take something back to a shop

enough /ɪˈnʌf/ (adj)

as much as needed, not too little

choice /tʃɔɪs/ (n)

something you decide between two or more things

future /ˈfjuːtʃə/ (n)

time that has not come yet

When Fear of Regret Runs Your Life

Why some choices feel heavier than they really are.

Daniel sits at his laptop late at night.
He wants to book a trip for his only week of vacation.
Ten tabs are open: beaches, mountains, old cities, cheap flights.

He moves the mouse from one option to another.
“What if it rains there?” he thinks.
“What if that hotel is noisy? What if I hate the food?”
His eyes hurt.
He closes the laptop without buying anything.

Why Our Brain Hates “What If?”

Psychologists say we have “regret aversion”.
We don’t just fear pain or loss.
We fear the special pain of thinking, “I chose the wrong thing.”

Before we decide, we imagine this pain.
We see ourselves coming home and saying, “I should have gone somewhere else.”
To avoid this feeling, we avoid the choice.
We keep reading, comparing, and waiting for perfect safety.

Too Many Doors, Too Much Doubt

Some choices are reversible.
You can return a shirt, change a class, or cancel a subscription.
You would think this makes us happy.

But some research suggests something strange.
When we can change our choice, we keep thinking about other options.
We look back and compare.
Our mind does not relax, and we feel less satisfied.

Other choices are not reversible.
You cannot easily “return” a child, a tattoo, or five years in a job.
Here, we fear regret more strongly, so we delay and delay.

There is another pattern too.
“Maximizers” want the absolute best choice.
They search and compare for a long time.
“Satisficers” look for something that is good enough, then stop.
Studies show satisficers often feel happier with their decisions.

Making Peace With Your Choice

After we choose, we still have power.
We can keep checking prices and reviews, or we can accept.
Decision acceptance means saying, “I chose this, now I will enjoy it.”

Regret is not always an enemy.
It can show us what we really care about: freedom, family, learning, peace.
If we listen kindly, regret can become a lesson, not a prison.

Next time you feel stuck in “what if?”, notice what you are really afraid of.
Then choose one door, walk through it, and try to live there fully.

Key Points

• Regret aversion makes us fear future regret and delay decisions.
• Reversible choices and too many options can increase doubt and reduce satisfaction.
• Accepting “good enough” choices can bring more peace and learning.

Words to Know

regret /rɪˈɡret/ (n, v)

feeling sad about a past choice

option /ˈɒpʃən/ (n)

one thing you can choose

compare /kəmˈpeə/ (v)

to look at two things and see differences

avoid /əˈvɔɪd/ (v)

to stay away from something

risk /rɪsk/ (n)

the chance something bad may happen

reverse /rɪˈvɜːs/ (v)

to change something back to before

accept /əkˈsept/ (v)

to say yes to something and not fight it

satisfy /ˈsætɪsfaɪ/ (v)

to make someone feel it is enough

decision /dɪˈsɪʒən/ (n)

a choice you make after thinking

chance /tʃɑːns/ (n)

possibility that something may happen

mistake /mɪˈsteɪk/ (n)

a wrong action or decision

lesson /ˈlesən/ (n)

useful learning from an event

Anticipated Regret: The Hidden Boss of Your Decisions

How the fear of future pain shapes what you do today.

Mei’s finger hovers over the screen.
Her friend has invited her on a long trip.
The ticket is expensive, and she should save money for study.

She has written a message:
“Sorry, I can’t come this year.”
But she does not press send.

In her mind, two movies begin.
In the first, she stays home, scrolls her phone, watches her friends’ travel photos, and feels a deep, heavy regret.
In the second, she goes on the trip, spends too much, and later regrets her empty bank account.
The message stays on her screen, unsent.

The Future Stories We Tell

Psychologists call this “anticipated regret”.
It is not regret itself, but the regret we expect to feel.
We suffer before anything even happens.

Research suggests we regret actions more in the short term.
We say, “I should not have said that,” or “I shouldn’t have bought this.”
But in the long term, we regret inaction:
the jobs we did not take, the people we did not call, the risks we never tried.

Regret aversion pushes us away from choices that might hurt later.
Sometimes this protects us from real danger.
Many times, it simply keeps us in the same small, safe circle.

When Too Many Doors Stay Open

Modern life is full of reversible choices.
Free returns, trial months, endless dating apps.
On the surface, this looks like freedom.

Yet studies show that when a choice stays reversible, we keep imagining the options we did not pick.
Our mind continues to compare, to replay, to ask, “What if?”
This rumination can quietly lower our happiness.

Then there are maximizers and satisficers.
Maximizers try to choose the absolute best.
They read every review, open every tab, and collect more and more data.
Satisficers decide what “good enough” looks like, and stop when they find it.
In many studies, satisficers feel more content with their decisions, even when their choice is not perfect.

From Regret to Wisdom

We cannot remove regret from life, but we can change our relationship with it.
Decision acceptance is one skill:
after you choose, close the other tabs, delete the saved houses, stop checking the prices.
Tell yourself, “I made this choice for reasons that made sense at the time.”

Another skill is to treat regret as information, not as a verdict on your worth.
Ask three simple questions:
What did I want?
What actually happened?
What can I try differently next time?

In this way, regret becomes a quiet teacher.
It shows you your values and your real fears.
It reminds you that life is an experiment, not an exam.

The next time anticipated regret is shouting in your mind, pause and listen.
Is it warning you of real danger, or just trying to protect you from every tiny disappointment?
You might still feel afraid.
But you can choose with more honesty, and then let the choice become part of your story.

Key Points

• Anticipated regret and regret aversion can control our choices before anything happens.
• Reversible choices and maximizing behavior often increase rumination and reduce satisfaction.
• Accepting decisions and using regret as information can turn pain into learning.

Words to Know

anticipated /ænˈtɪsɪpeɪtɪd/ (adj)

expected to happen in the future

regret aversion /rɪˈɡret əˈvɜːʒən/ (n)

strong wish to avoid feeling regret

reversible /rɪˈvɜːsəbəl/ (adj)

able to be changed back or undone

maximize /ˈmæksɪmaɪz/ (v)

to try to get the very best result

satisficer /ˈsætɪsfaɪsə/ (n)

person who chooses something “good enough”, not perfect

rumination /ˌruːmɪˈneɪʃən/ (n)

thinking about the same thing again and again

commit /kəˈmɪt/ (v)

to decide firmly and stick to it

trade-off /ˈtreɪd ɒf/ (n)

giving up one thing to get another

long-term /ˌlɒŋˈtɜːm/ (adj)

happening over a long time

short-term /ˌʃɔːtˈtɜːm/ (adj)

happening over a short time

experiment /ɪkˈsperɪmənt/ (n)

a test to see what happens

perspective /pəˈspektɪv/ (n)

a way of seeing or thinking about something

values /ˈvæljuːz/ (n)

things that are most important to you

resilience /rɪˈzɪliəns/ (n)

ability to recover after problems or stress